First... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to

salamet

tlcadence

megancrewe

Following the tradition set by so many others on LJ, I'm going to appease everyone with *voice echoing* My Town In Pictures

1. What would you do?

I'm at church yesterday (praying for you know what) and we all standup to sing. There's an older couple in front of us, probably in their seventies. The man has a hearing aid.

On his butt is a long blonde hair. Dead center on his butt. Not that I"m looking at his butt, but (Hey... 2 buts in a row!) I can't help but notice this long hair. So... I decide to ignore it. Except my wife elbows me and points it out. I shrug and say, "I see it." I figure that's the end of it... until she tells me to pluck it off his butt. Ugh! I thought about maybe pointing the hair out to the man, but he's wearing a hearing aid and I'd probably have to shout "You got a hair on your butt!". So, I like a neuro-surgeon about to perform delicate brain surgery... I reach out... and snatch that hair off. It has to be about 12" inches long. And it's not his wife's hair. Hm.

2. I Am Legend was an awesome movie. I loved it. (I'd marry it for the weekend, but have it annulled on Monday.)

3. We were watching Shrek on Saturday Night. And I noticed something that just took away the believeablity of the movie. I mean shattered it for me. Just after Fiona finishes off Robin Hood, she says something to Shrek. (I can't remember what she said.) Shrek is stupified by what she has just done to the Merry Men and says, "Hold the Phone!"

See... "Hold the PHONE!" They don't even have phones... how can he say that. I was very disappointed after that. How will I explain this to my youngest daughter? 

4. Speaking of my youngest... she was falling asleep in the car and I asked... "Are you tired?" She came back with, "I'm just blinking really slow." Huh? Just a long blink. I shoulda known.

5. I'm making excellent progress on The Off-Blue Lagoon. I'd give partial credit to

kazdreamer

1. Rootbeer Ice Cream… I like it.

2. My middle daughter had a dance recital yesterday. She’s got short hair so we had to attach hair extensions so she could wear the head piece. About thirty seconds into the dance it started to fall off. She was quick, got it off and when she was close to the edge of the stage, tossed it aside. Still… I felt bad for her, but she handled it well.

3. Oh. My. Gosh. I have an airport story to rival all airport stories. Not sure if I should share it here. It’s not my story and it’s kinda… well, disgusting. I will have a mental debate with myself as to whether to share.

4. There’s not much I can talk serious about with my youngest. But this morning, we had a heart to heart about poop. Length, width… everything. (She’s been having troubles in that department, but feeling better.)

5. I can’t believe that no agents or editors have snatched up robinellenyet. She writes sooooo well (I’ve read three of her books… well, I’m halfway finished with the third.) She writes with such grace. I think she just hasn’t found the right editor/agent for the right story yet. But I’m tellin’ you… it won’t be long.

6. Why don’t Canadian Geese stay in Canada? And why don’t these stupid birds FLY over the road instead of walk? Actually, they really don’t walk… they slowly meander across the street, not a care in the world. Bastards!

7. Finished the first chapter of The Off-Blue Lagoon in 1^st POV and I think it works. Now… what will my critiquers think? I can’t wait to hear.

8. 32 days to Conestoga! Am I the only one SUPER excited about this event? I cannot wait and I haven’t even seen the programming for it yet. I will be surrounded by publishing royalty. And like it!

9. Went to a wedding on Saturday Night. My wife noted that she hasn’t seen so many boobs ready to fall out in a long time. And it was the older ladies…

10. Lately the radio is riddled with songs I CANNOT allow my daughters to listen to. Kinda pathetic. Can’t even mention the titles.

First... thanks to all who played the "

salamet

            “Welcome, guests!” Charmrot said as the woman and son tiptoed back to center stage.

            “What have you done to my husband?” the straw-hatted woman asked.

            “Miss Jones, your husband has made a deal that will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams,” Charmrot maneuvered her arms, creating an imaginary rainbow over her head.

            “Well… he never asked me for permission,” the woman snipped.

            “I want popcorn!” the boy wailed into her shoulder.

            “Take these people away, Hag!” Vlad said. He’d been very quiet. “Release the others. At the very least… my dearest Aggy.”

            “Hey!” Amelia cried, stretching out her foot and trying to tip her father's head off the pillar. “I knew you never loved me! I knew it!” Her chains rattled as she continued to try and connect her toes with the blonde locks of her father.

            “Oh, Vlad!” Aggy continued to cry. “I’ve missed you so much.”

            “Mother! How can you say that! He killed good men for you. Men with families.”

            “I know… he stopped though. Stopped at Grimm! Isn’t that sweet!”

            “Ah!” Amelia gave up and her body went slack.

            At least the goings-on kept Joe’s mind from his impending death.

            “Now… regarding your impending deaths!” Charmrot shouted.

            “Who’s the head?” The straw-hatted woman asked. The boy was wiping at his eyes, now looking at them as he would a captured dragon, had dragons still existed.

            “That’s the head of the slayer. Vlad the slayer. A man of lies and deceit.” Charmrot tilted her head back and laughed… then crumpled to the floor.

            Immediately Osteo and Farmer Jones were at her side and helping her up. She came round more quickly this time.

            Foulpus lurched his foot and hit Joe’s knee.

            “What?” Joe asked, suddenly irritable. If he could only have just a little more time. Another chance. He’d approach things differently.

            “He’s just a head, mommy!” And the boy giggled. “That’s…” he sniffed and ran his little wrist beneath his wet, snotty nose. “That’s silly!”

            “Curse you, boy!” Vlad said.

            “Vladimir Moses Caspar. Don’t you take it out on that young man,” Aggy snapped.

            “Oh, Mother!” Amelia added.

            “Young Fletcher,” Charmrot said in her lullaby tone. Osteo and Farmer Jones stood behind her now like bodyguards. “Who would you like to see drop into the bawls of Hell first?” Charmrot fluttered the boy’s wispy black hair, leaving him looking like major bed-head.

            The boy placed a finger to his lips, glancing around at all of them. His mother kept looking back at her husband, Farmer Jones. The tall, skinny man was focused on Charmrot, arms tensed in case the Hag suddenly passed out again. Joe wondered if she was just sick or tired. Or both.

            “Um.” The little boy licked his lips. “How about that one!” He pointed to Rupple.

            “Aye, little lad. Yer makin’ a big mistake. Yer ma and pa are leadin’ ye don’t a crooked road. Don’t ‘cha be followin’ them.”

            “Make him stop yellin’ at me, Mama!” The boy tucked his head into the nape of the woman’s neck.

            “You heard the boy!” Charmrot shouted to the roof, her hands cupped around her mouth. “Release the chains furthest right.”

            The wood paneled hatch over Foulpus slid open and a pair of cadavers stared down, behind them the clouds boiled and rolled across the darkness. Lightening flashed.

            “My right… your left!” Charmrot shouted, then glanced back at Osteo as if he were responsible for the blunder. Osteo toyed with his jaw bone.